Lessons from bitter moments

I thought we were similar. See when I say similar, it is not looks, family, financial status or lifestyle that I think about. I say similar when our thoughts are similar, our ideas match, we have the same kind of viewpoint in most topics, we are able to relate to each other the way we talk. I really thought and still think that we are similar.

I tried to imbibe certain goodness from you to myself. I tried to put my feelings across to you. You gave me company and in tough times a lot of solace. Even though half of my problems and worries were an output of some silly nonsensical thoughts, you listened to my problems from across the seas. You made me feel important. I professed to your problems through mails and you found solutions to my worries. I thought we were close, as close as the times when we were together and we were two students with no worries. I thought we had failed to distinguish whether we were bound by friendship or sisterhood.

Your success amazed me. Your new endeavors thrilled me. I was content with my degree and job. Somewhere I felt I had lost that urge for more. I saw you scaling heights which I had one day planned of scaling. I was amazed at your determination and perseverance. I regarded you to extreme respect and questioned myself “Why I couldn’t be like you?”

My life took a new route and I conveyed my marriage news to you. But somewhere I was caught up in my own worries of married life. As usual I was caught in my self created web of doubts. I lost touch with you. I lost touch with my own need for friends.

Everything happened too suddenly for me. A new person became very much my own life. Little did I know that when my new life was getting built with loving moments, you had lost yours? I never realized the immense pain you went through. Everyday I prayed a line for the whole world, with my regular prayer. I never knew you were so much in need of a special prayer.

Did it ever occur to you that in a split second your very own life can take a sharp downslide turn and surprise you? You thought that this path had great goals and moments in the offering, but now you can just stare at the road ahead and try to decipher some vague inner meanings. You had put faith in immense goodness of mankind and in the kindness of God. But now you just wonder whether there is any justice in the world?

/******************************************************************************/

This is penned sometime back (2 months ago) in a moment of immense pain – a reaction to a close friend’s sad moment in life which I happened to share. Today at this juncture I’m really happy at the recovery that she has had. When I say recovery, I don’t give credit to time and nature. I give credit to her immense fighting spirit. I’m praying to God to help her see the greener roads ahead and the flowers that blossom on those roads.

It has been a realization to me in many ways. Showing me the uncertainty that life is, cautioning me about never to take people in my life for granted, and also a wonderful experience in seeing the marvelous process of the healing. Most importantly I started thinking of my own friends with a whole lot more of concern. Somewhere I sensed that I might not realize when and how they need me. I have always had them around when I needed them. Hope I can stand for them when they need me.

I suddenly had this urge to post this – the trigger again being a close friend's thoughts as expressed thru his blog here.

12 comments:

Anonymous 7:51 PM  

What happened to that friend?

Anyway good to know that she is better now..

-Kavitha

Flyaway Mind 6:09 PM  

its quite natural that when we r confronted with new environment, we will be so immersed in adapting & settling down, that initially we may not have enough time to ponder abut the rest..thats quite natural...anyway ur friend came out of blues..a thoughtful post!!cheers!!

Maddy 10:32 PM  

right you are, the vagaries of life..the twists & turns it takes. for what purpose or reason, one cannot fathom though people say that it is all a result of your own deeds..good to see you back in a writing mood..

rgds

pophabhi 2:14 PM  

As we keep saying...Its a vicious circle.
Cant blame anyone. Its just that we are too confused. Too many entities to look at....Too many things to care for. Sometimes our brains are too narrow. We get stuck. And we live.
Great thots, Resh!

Reshmi 8:48 PM  

@Kavitha: A very tragic experience which I would rather keep vague...

@Flyaway Mind: Welcome to my blog:)

@Maddy & Abhi: Very true indeed. We are so powerless to before our own destinies.

kavya 2:39 PM  

**I’m praying to God to help her see the greener roads ahead and the flowers that blossom on those roads..

n all she needs in times like these is a friend..n she is lucky,she has you...n all u have to do is keep that fighting spirit in her alive.

passerby55 11:12 AM  

Reshmi, Those emotions are penned so well. COuld make any reader feel. feel the way you have felt or your friend must have.

Thoughts when they meet right, simple words turn to feelings.

Reshmi, your friend is indeed lucky to have a friend like you in her life.

Many, most of us do the same. But i am happy you realised it, and now you made me learn a few.

Thankyou for posting this one.

Maya Cassis 7:48 PM  

A lot of intense emotions...the circle called love

maddy 4:34 AM  

wishing you both a great new year

Dipole 1:09 PM  

terrible template i must say... :)

passerby55 8:03 AM  

hello,

You are tagged.
write on ten things that define your style.

:))

Malayalee 1:21 PM  

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